Are You A Successful Failure?

The Definition of Success

Society has really done a number on us. We are surrounded by images from magazines and TV screens that influence our ideas about success. Even the best self-help gurus encourage us to identify what our goals are, write them down, cut out pictures of them, and visualize them.

Have you noticed one conspicuous thing about all of this? These images and self-generated ideas of success are all external. We tend to compare ourselves (usually unfavorably) to our most attractive relative, our most successful acquaintance, our most popular friend, or—worse yet—our most beloved entertainment idol. We’re bombarded daily with ads, articles, and books luring us into a media-generated definition of success—one that pushes us relentlessly towards it while simultaneously encouraging us to look back over our shoulders to see how we compare to others. We come to believe that this is what we have to do to measure our success.

Baloney!

Consider these successes:

• The handicapped athlete who comes in last in a marathon but whose only goal is to finish the race.
• The high school student who fails to achieve the position of valedictorian because she has chosen to challenge herself with more difficult courses.
• The paraplegic mountain climber who endures physical exertion, pain, and exhaustion to make climbs that exceed his LAST best effort.
• The single mother who sacrifices personal career advancement to make sure that her children have the time and attention they need to become productive, healthy adults.
• The dyslectic reader who perseveres in spite of poor grades and teasing from her schoolmates.

Aren’t these people successful? Of course they are! What, then, should be your definition of success? Perhaps success is simply doing your own personal best, regardless of how that stacks up against any external bar or measure.

Is Successful Failure Just An Oxymoron?

Sometimes, the term "successful failure" is used to describe situations in which a project fails to achieve its original objective but still provides elements valuable or worthwhile. For example, W. David Compton, in writing for NASA, referred to Apollo 13 as a successful failure.

“As an aborted mission, Apollo 13 must officially be classed as a failure…but, in another sense, as a brilliant demonstration of the human spirit triumphing under almost unbearable stress, it is the most successful failure in the annals of space flight,” Compton said.

Successful failure could also be applied to someone who succeeds in failing! While there would arguably be a considerable degree of pathology in this approach to life, you’ll encounter individuals from time to time who seem almost determined to fail in everything they do. Typically this mindset is accompanied by negativity, constant criticism, lack of follow-through, or the inability (or unwillingness) to make plans or try very hard.

For this article, however, we will discuss successful failure in terms of the definition coined by Alec Mackenzie, in his very worthwhile audiotape series “Managing Your Goals.” His definition is this:

“A successful failure is anyone who appears on the surface to be successful but who is failing to approach his or her potential.”

Mackenzie stumbled on this concept of successful failure while he was leading a seminar for a major company’s top insurance salespeople. Fearing that they would feel he had little to teach them, since they were already successful in the eyes of their company and, undoubtedly, their peers, Mackenzie shifted gears and asked them this question:

“Are you where you are today BECAUSE OF or IN SPITE OF your current effort?"

This generated considerable discussion, and the surprising consensus was that they were succeeding IN SPITE OF their effort. When he asked how much he thought their sales figures would increase if they truly did their best, the results were astonishing--the members of this elite sales group felt they could improve anywhere from 25% to over 100%! Mackenzie said that the term "successful failure" was born that day.

Once we start to think about it, we realize that there are successful failures all around us, some with higher profiles than others. How often do we hear of people in positions of great respect and authority--in the business world, in the church, in Hollywood, or among our acquaintances--who have betrayed that reputation and trust through deception, dishonesty, or immorality?

Are you one of the people who is successful in the eyes of the world but, if the truth be known, are really not functioning at your best?

On the flip side, as mentioned in the examples above, sometimes the people whom the world calls failures are, in reality, successes because they're doing their best.

Create Your Own Definition of Success

If the definition of success is doing your own personal best, how do you define or determine your best? The truth is that most people, if they really listen to their heart and their conscience, will come pretty close to knowing what their personal best is in any given endeavor. However, the Mackenzies have some exercises to help you focus on it.

Ask yourself what you would really be doing if you could snap your fingers and do anything you wanted. What is your ideal life? Compare this with your best definition of success and contemplate any contradictions. Ask yourself what you most need (skill, tool, book, experience, etc.) to achieve your definition of success and your ideal life. Through this process, your image of what constitutes your own personal best will begin to sharpen.

Do your best—always and everywhere. That will ensure your success in the eyes of anyone who matters.