Ann Coulter Bombs at Rob Lowe Roast: The Worst Roaster Since ‘The Situation’
The modern era of Comedy Central
Roasts has produced certain archetypes among those invited to
mercilessly mock any given year’s semi-famous honoree.
There
are the veteran comedians, most notably “Roastmaster General” Jeff
Ross, who has appeared on the past 13 roasts, including this Monday’s Roast of Rob Lowe.
That group also includes Gilbert Gottfried, who made history by telling
the first major 9/11 joke after 9/11 at 2001’s Hugh Hefner roast, and
Greg Giraldo, who was a consistent MVP at the events before his death in
2010.
There are the
breakthrough comic stars, often but not always women, who are virtually
unknown outside of stand-up circles before they shock viewers into
submission with bravura performances. Think Amy Schumer at 2011’s Charlie Sheen roast, Natasha Leggero at 2013’s James Franco roast, and Pete Davidson at 2014’s Justin Bieber roast.
And
then there are the non-comedians, or “civilians” in comic-speak, who
show up each year with low expectations and either rise to the occasion
with their unexpected joke-delivery skills, or crash and burn to
glorious effect on national television. In the former camp is someone
like Martha Stewart, who gamely warned Bieber about the dangers of
prison last year. “Let’s get to the reason I’m here tonight, which is to
give Justin Bieber some tips to use when he inevitably ends up in
prison,” Stewart said before giving an elaborate description of how to
make a shank out of a “pintail comb and a pack of gum.”
The latter category is best exemplified by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore
fame, who, just five years ago, failed spectacularly while attempting
to roast the man who is currently the Republican nominee for president.
Among the jokes cut from the eventual broadcast was an observation that Donald Trump and Snoop Dogg,
who was also present, have a lot in common, because Trump’s family is
in real estate and Snoop Dogg’s ancestors were “considered property.”
One
hard-hitting joke that did make it on the air was directed at Trump’s
wife Melania, who was seated in the audience. “She married you for
love,” he told Trump. “Yeah, she loves money.” When Sorrentino responded
to boos from the crowd by saying, “This is my first time doing comedy,”
Jeff Ross shot back, “And your last!”
All
of this made “The Situation” synonymous with bombing at Comedy
Central’s roast. But now he has company, because on Monday, Ann Coulter
delivered the least funny performance of anyone… ever.
The Roast of Rob Lowe,
which was taped on Saturday, August 27, but had its television premiere
on Labor Day, featured an eclectic array of comedians and
non-comedians. Jeff Ross and Pete Davidson were back, and Lowe’s Tommy Boy
co-star David Spade was on hand as Roastmaster. Joining Coulter on the
non-comedian side were recently-retired NFL quarterback Peyton Manning
and, even more inexplicably, the singer Jewel, who actually managed to
deliver one of the best Coulter jokes of the night: “I do want to say as
a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight.
But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”
Coulter,
whose loose connection to Lowe was presumably predicated on their
shared conservative politics, was unsurprisingly a favorite target for
everyone else on the dais. Manning compared her to a horse; comedian
Nikki Glaser compared her to Hitler; and Davidson straight-up called her a “racist cunt.”
We’ve
heard plenty over the past week about how mean the jokes about Coulter
were, but what about the jokes Coulter made herself?
“She wrote 11 books, but she couldn’t write one fucking joke for this roast,” Jeff Ross remarked during an appearance on Chelsea Handler’s Netflix talk show
this past week. And if you noticed there weren’t too many cutaways of
Coulter laughing at the jokes at her expense, as the other roasters tend
to do, it’s because she wasn’t laughing. Ross told Handler that he went
up to Coulter during a commercial break and suggested she try laughing
along with the comedians so they would have something to cut to besides
“everyone laughing at you.”
“She
seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask
the Klan,” Spade said during his introduction of Coulter. “I haven't
seen you laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.”
The
special attention did not go unnoticed by Coulter, whose first line was
probably her best. “I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter
Roast with Rob Lowe,” the right-wing pundit said when she took the
podium. It was all downhill from there. When she shamelessly mentioned
her Trump-themed book up top, which was proudly displayed on the podium,
she drew loud boos. When she joked about David being the only “spade”
who might vote for Trump, the crowd groaned. Her anti-Hillary Clinton
jokes didn’t fare any better. When she finally finished her short set,
Coulter got a standing ovation from Rob Lowe—but no one else.
Following the event, Coulter told The Hollywood Reporter
that she has “no idea” why she was invited by Comedy Central to roast
Rob Lowe and claimed it just showed up randomly on her publicity
schedule to promote her new book, not so cleverly titled In Trump We Trust. She also said she doesn’t remember hearing many “jokes” until she took the mic.
But despite all of the attention Coulter received before the roast even aired, Comedy Central president Kent Alterman insisted in an interview with The Daily Beast
that she was not “singled out” by the other roasters and really should
have known what she was getting herself into. “We didn’t prevent her
from watching any roasts,” Alterman noted.
If she had started with “The Situation’s” Donald Trump disaster, perhaps she would have stayed away altogether
No comments:
Post a Comment